Best Dad Jokes in 2025.
1) 9th Letter Dad Joke.

[Image: good best dad jokes ever 2025]  The best Dad Jokes never get the applause they deserve! 2) Rabbit Dad Joke.


2) Scarecrow Dad Joke.




3) A Flock of Cows Dad Joke. 5. Snoop Dad Joke.


6. French Dad Joke.


7.  The Muffin Dad Joke. Other Personal Favorite Dad Jokes.

1. I tried to make up a joke about ghost but I couldn’t. It had plenty of spirit but no body.
2. Dad: What is the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? Me: I don’t know. Dad: You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna. Me: What about the pot of glue? Dad: I knew you’d get stuck on that.
3. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
4. I made a song about tortilla once, now it’s more like a wrap.
5. Did you hear about the fragile myth? It was busted.
6. Dad, when he puts the car in reverse: “Ah, this takes me back.”
7. Why did the egg have a day off? Because it was Fryday.
8. Why did the Rolling Stones stop making music? Because they got to the bottom of the hill.
9. What is the best present? Broken drums! You can’t beat them.
10. Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They’re making headlines.
11. What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
12. Why did the coffee taste like dirt? Because it was ground just a few minutes ago.
13. Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, “Do you have a favorite song?” The other replies, “Well… all my life I have been a heavy metal fan.”
14. The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no word to describe how angry I am.
15. Hi, I’m Cliff. Drop over sometime.
16. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
17. Why do people who live in Greece hate waking up at dawn? Because Dawn is tough on Greece.
18. I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher.
19. What do call a criminal landing an airplane? Condescending.
20. Why did the old man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
21. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance… So I pushed her over.
22. The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, “Fine, suit yourself.”
23. How many stormtroopers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they are all on the dark side.
24. I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought 2.
25. What do you call the security guards for Samsung? Guardians of the galaxy.
26. I tried to make up a joke about ghosts, but I couldn’t. It had plenty of spirit but no body.
27. I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to be a winner. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
28. The doctor examined the guy’s ear and found money. The doctor kept pulling and pulling it out until he had $1,999. Then the doctor said, “No wonder you’re not feeling two grand!”
29. Dad: What is the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?
    Me: I don’t know.
    Dad: You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna.
    Me: What about the pot of glue?
    Dad: I knew you’d get stuck on that.
30. Have you ever heard about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.
31. Why do you stand in the corner when your house is cold? It’s always 90 degrees there.
32. What word can you make shorter by adding two letters? Short.
33. I was making a joke about retirement. It did not work.

New Dad Jokes for 2025.

1. Why couldn’t the produce manager make it to work? He could drive, but he didn’t avocado.
2. What did the skillet eat on its birthday? Pan-cakes.
3. My boss said, “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
4. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.
5. Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they’re extinct.
6. How is my wallet like an onion? Every time I open it, I cry.
7. What do you call a dog who meditates? Aware wolf.
8. Where do rainbows go when they’ve been bad? To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they’ve done.
9. What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Philipe Fallop.
10. Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can’t jump.
11. What kind of fish do penguins catch at night? Star fish.
12. I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
13. What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? Lady Ba Ba.
14. I was going to try an all-almond diet, but that’s just nuts.
15. I went to a silent auction. I won a dog whistle and two mimes.
16. Which vegetable has the best kung fu? Broc-lee.
17. I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
18. Why should you never take sides in an argument at the dinner table? Trick question. It’s the perfect time to take sides because no one’s paying attention. Bring Tupperware.
19. Who won the neck decorating contest? It was a tie.
20. What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide.

New Dad Jokes That You Haven’t Heard Before.

1. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out!
2. How do you make Budweiser? Send him to school.
3. What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thank you for the mulch!
4. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The P is silent.
5. How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it’s on the house.
6. What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.
7. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need one to go skydiving twice.
8. How do you make 7 even? Take away the S.
9. Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
10. What do you need to make a highway in an art studio? A mile marker.
11. How many apples grow on an apple tree? All of them.
12. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He’s a really big dill.
13. Why is sausage bad for you? It brings out the Wurst in people.
14. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
15. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
16. Me: “I want to write when I grow up.”
    Dad: “Why don’t you left instead?”
17. What’s an astronaut’s favorite board game? Moon-opoly.
18. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
19. What do you call a broken clock? A waste of time.
20. The other day I was attacked by a bunch of circus clowns in a parking lot. I won though, cause I went right for the juggler.
21. I’d like to shout out sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
22. Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.
23. What is Santa’s favorite state to visit? Ida Ho Ho Ho.
24. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.
25. Why did the teddy bear turn down a slice of cake? He was stuffed.
26. How does Vin Diesel keep in touch with the Fast and Furious crew? On a Zoom call.
27. What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your weeder.
28. How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear.
29. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
30. Why couldn’t the tree get on his computer? Because he could not log on.
31. Have you seen those traffic circles or driven around them? Well, they are pointless.
32. I went on Amazon to buy a lighter but all they had were 3,472 matches.
33. What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of road? A dead end.

Kind of Corny Dad Jokes (or ‘Bad’ Dad Jokes, If You Will).

1. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
2. “What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?” “Where’s Pop Corn?”
3. “Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!”
4. “What kind of car does an egg drive?” “A yolkswagen.”
5. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?” “Supplies!”
6. “Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?” “Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”
7. “What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!”
8. “I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.”
9. “Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?” “It didn’t have the guts.”
10. “What did one wall say to the other?” “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
11. “How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.”
12. “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
13. “What did the zero say to the eight?” “That belt looks good on you.”
14. “What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
15. “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
16. “How does a taco say grace?” “Lettuce pray.”
17. “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.”
18. “Where do boats go when they’re sick?” “To the boat doc.”
19. “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
20. “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
21. “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
22. “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”
23. “How does the moon cut his hair?” “Eclipse it.”
24. “I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.”
25. “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.”
26. “How did Harry Potter get down the hill?” “Walking. JK! Rowling.”
27. “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.”
28. “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
29. “What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!”
30. “Where do fruits go on vacation?” “Pear-is!”
31. “What do you call a factory that makes okay products?” “A satisfactory.”
32. “What did one hat say to the other?” “Stay here! I’m going on ahead.”
33. “Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.”
34. “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.”
35. “Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.”
36. “How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.”
37. “I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.”
38. “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”
39. “What kind of car does an egg drive?” “A yolkswagen.”
40. “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.”
41. “What’s the best thing about Switzerland?” “I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”
42. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
43. “Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!”
44. “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!”
45. “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”
46. “How does dry skin affect you at work?” “You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it.”
47. “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”
48. “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
49. “Dad, can you put the cat out?” “I didn’t know it was on fire.”
50. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”

Best Dad Jokes About Animals.

1. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
2. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum it could be done.
3. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a caterpillar? A little walkie-talkie.
4. Why aren’t dogs allowed in bars? Because they can’t control their licker!
5. What is the cutest creature in the sea? A cuddlefish.
6. What’s a dog’s favorite superhero? Labra-Thor.
7. A pony walks into a noisy bar and tries to order a beer. Bartender says, “I can’t hear you! You’ll have to speak up!” Pony says: “Sorry! I’m a little horse!”
8. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fshhhh.
9. You are on a horse riding full gallop. Next to you is a giraffe at full gallop, and behind you is a lion on your tail. What do you do? Get off the carousel.
10. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
11. I had a horse named mayo, and mayo neighed.
12. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
13. A man walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender said, “Does the animal talk?” And the parrot replied, “I don’t know.”
14. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
15. What family does the zebra belong to? Can’t say, none of the families in our neighborhood owns a zebra.
16. What do you call an elephant in a telephone booth? Stuck.
17. What do you say when a chicken is looking at salad? Chicken sees a salad.
18. I was walking down the beach when I heard a swimmer yelling for help with a shark circling him. I just laughed….I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.

Funny Dad Jokes About Sports.

1. Why can’t pigs play soccer? They hog the ball.
2. Why did the baseball player get fired? He ran 3 bases then walked home.
3. “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
4. Why couldn’t the baby score in basketball? He was always dribbling.
5. “What does a sprinter eat before a race?” “Nothing, they fast!”
6. Where do basketball players go when they need a uniform? New Jersey.
7. Why don’t fish play basketball? Because they’re scared of the net.
8. Why shouldn’t you play tennis in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
9. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby? One takes a snap, one takes a nap.
10. What’s the best animal in soccer? A score-pion.
11. “My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.”
12. “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!”
13. I used to be addicted to basketball, but I rebounded.
14. “What does a sports fan have in common with an angry chicken? A foul mouth.”
15. Why don’t football players wear glasses? It’s a contact sport.

One-Liner Dad Jokes.

1. “I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!”
2. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
3. “You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.”
4. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
5. “I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.”
6. “A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”
7. “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
8. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
9. “Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.”
10. “I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!”
11. “If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
12. “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
13. “What country’s capital is growing the fastest?” “Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.”
14. “If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?”
15. “Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist.”
16. “Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.”
17. “I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!”
18. “What’s the best smelling insect?” “A deodor-ant.”
19. “I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.”
20. “I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”
21. “What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.”
22. “I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.”
23. “That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.”
24. “I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.”
25. “I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.”
26. “Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
27. “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…”
28. “I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.”
29. “When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?”
30. “I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”
31. “If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
32. “What’s an irrelephant? An elephant that doesn’t matter.”
33. “It takes guts to be an organ donor.”
34. “Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the ‘P’ is silent.”
35. “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!”
36. “I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.”
37. “You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.”
38. “A guy walks into a bar… and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.”

Best Dad Joke Puns (The Punniest Bad Jokes).

1. “What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?” “Prime mates.”
2. “What happens when M&M’s can’t agree on anything?” “They reach an M-passe.”
3. “What do clouds wear?” “Thunderwear.”
4. “Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.”
5. “What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.”
6. “What do you call a pony with a sore throat?” “A little hoarse.”
7. “What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?” “Traffic jam.”
8. “Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.”
9. “What do you call a belt made of watches?” “A waist of time.”
10. “How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?” “By its bark.”
11. “What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.”
12. “What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.”
13. “Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.”
14. “What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.”
15. “Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”
16. “What did the vet say to the cat?” “How are you feline?”
17. “Can February March? No, but April May!”
18. “I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.”
19. “Why are piggy banks so wise?” “They’re filled with common cents.”
20. “What’s an inappropriate ‘dad joke’ called if you’re not a dad? A faux pa.”
21. “Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.”
22. “Where do young trees go to learn?” “Elementree school.”
23. “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”
24. “What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?” “A pouch potato!”
25. “How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?” “Nothing, it’s on the house.”
26. “Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.”
27. “Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.”
28. “What do you call a hot dog on wheels?” “Fast food!”
29. “How do you get a good price on a sled?” “You have toboggan.”
30. “Why is Peter Pan always flying?” “He neverlands.”
31. “Where do math teachers go on vacation?” “Times Square.”
32. “Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.”
33. “I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”
34. “Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.”
35. “Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.”
36. “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
37. “What does garlic do when it gets hot?” “It takes its cloves off.”
38. “If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?” “An iWitness.”